Fan Fare, What's New, Pussycat?
Here’s where you’ll find TJ photos and stories that don’t fit into any other categories. It is, as its name says, just for fans — and, hopefully, for fun.
It Can’t Be Easy Being Tom Jones — And, Sometimes, It Ain’t Easy Being His Fan, Either
Thursday, July 31st, 2008Tom and the gang are headed to Atlantic City today to prepare for the shows tomorrow and Saturday. Since this is one of the places where it seems the most outrageous fan-related incidents take place, we decided this is an appropriate time for this post. We know for a fact that Tom’s aren’t the only fans who, shall we say, can get a bit obstreperous. It happens with ardent fans of every performer. But, since we’re here because we’re Tom Jones fans, we’re focusing on them.
It looks like Sir Tom has the perfect life. And we’re sure that in many ways his life is, indeed, perfect. But we’re equally sure that it’s not always that way. There are schedules to be met, people he doesn’t know to meet and smile at, pressure to always be pleasant even when he doesn’t feel particularly pleasant….you understand.
Well, Tom Jones’ fans don’t always have it so easy either. Not that anyone’s really complaining, but sometimes things that happen are memorable and/or funny and of course they say more about the individual involved than they do about Sir Tom.
How many of you have been pushed, stepped on and/or cursed at when you’re trying to say “hi” or get a photo? How many of you have had the random undergarment land on your head while you’re watching a show? Or, perhaps, been pelted with a stuffed animal on its way to the stage?
Some fans are rude and intrusive. And that’s not funny. Some never stop. For example, there’s one woman now living in Las Vegas who for 30+ years has tried to make herself part of everyone’s TJ experience. On several occasions she has accosted fans she didn’t know and demanded information that was absolutely not her business. Back in the day, a fan and her husband were regularly able to get into a restaurant at Ballys after the show when it was closed to everyone but the fan, her husband and Tom’s party. This rude woman and her friend followed the fan into the elevator one night (!), demanding to know how the fan and her husband got into the restaurant when she couldn’t. (The Italian maitre’d liked the fan’s Italian husband and knew the wife was a fan. He asked TJ’s permission to allow them in and Tom, knowing the fan was respectful and liking her and her husband, agreed. He’d often stop at their table and ask what they were eating, how they were, etc. They always let him take the lead and never interrupted.)
On another occasion, this woman marched up to a man she didn’t know, the husband of another fan, and yelled at him “for using my name to get good seats.” (Of course, he didn’t. He didn’t even know who she was. Or her name.) Last year at the MGM — still rude and intrusive after 30+ years — this same woman accosted a fan she knew casually at best and began questioning her about why she was allowed backstage for a photo and who she knew to get there. (It was via her sister who, in turn, knew someone who secured the photo invite. No mystery, just happy coincidence and lucky stars in alignment. Also not the business of the rude and intrusive fan.)
Yes, just about everyone has a story and we invite you to tell yours. But we bet that no one — no one! — can beat this fan story:
It happened at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas in 1978.
Our Fan was sitting stageside — she took this photo from her seat that night — when a young woman in a bright white pantsuit with a big diamond ring glittering on her hand made her way to the stage from the back of the room and stood next to Our Fan. Tom saw her and came over. He kneeled and started to speak with her, but the woman was absolutely frozen.
He saw that and tried to put her at ease. “Oh, can I see your ring, luv?” he asked.
She just stood there.
Our Fan lifted the woman’s arm up so Tom could see the ring. He touched the woman’s hand and she, stunned into a kind of waking coma, just collapsed into the nearest chair.
Said chair was occupied by Our Fan.
Seeing the woman sitting on Our Fan’s lap and noticing a rather surprised look on Our Fan’s face, Tom — who knew Our Fan — said, “You have a woman sitting on your lap, luv.”
Our Fan could just nod and say, “I know.” She didn’t have the heart to tell Tom that as she sat, the woman had wet her pants.
Tom — who kissed all the fans back then — was oblivious to what had transpired on Our Fan’s lap. He wanted a kiss from the woman. Our Fan helped her stand so Tom could kiss her and then Our Fan started the woman on her way back to her seat.
It was the last time she ever allowed another fan to sit on her lap.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:42 am
I can’t believe anyone could beat this……good grief!
I was once given a black eye by a woman at a concert in Liverpool many years ago. Tom chose to toss his jacket into the audience (black; gold braid edging) and I caught it. Joy and jubilation abounded - for a brief nanosecond. A rather large middle-aged lady in front of me had other ideas and since I was very young and slight (and she was clearly taking no prisoners in the jacket department) the sad outcome was inevitable. In a a flash she reached back, grabbed the jacket and hit me in the face in the process. In fairness I don’t think she intended to but I felt rather aggrieved nonetheless!
But this is no competition for Our Fan’s story. I bow down in homage; I am not worthy…….
July 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am
Ouch Paula! That must have hurt! I haven’t ever met Tom, but I do have stories about annoying fans, none of them interesting enough to post here I’m afraid. It’s one reason I don’t try to get backstage or meet famous people. When I do, I keep it very discreet. It’s amazing how some people can think you owe them everything for some reason.
July 31st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
First, Paula, I am sorry you had to have such an unpleasant experience. Yikes. And no……not even for Tom Jones would I want to experience anyone to wee wee in my lap.
Since becoming a renewed fan in 2005, I have met some spectacular fans that will be friends for life. I have also met a few of the rudest and most delusional human beings ever. The incident that sticks in my mind the most was at a show at the Pechanga Casino in California. As Tom was singing Kiss I moved from the second row up to the front to dance with other fans. This woman with what appeared to be fishnet stockings on her arms, very long blond hair and glasses told me that I had to sit down as I was not a front row person. I reminded her that I was in the second row and I had every right to be there as fans from rows back were coming down to dance at Tom’s invitation to do so. I told her that I was not going anywhere and she strongly pushed me with both her hands. I told her that she had better not lay another hand on me or she would be pulling back a stump.
As it turns out, my friends and I went to a restaurant that night and Tom and party came in. This same woman was sitting at a table talking to herself before she approached Tom’s table and they swiftly sent her away. Later that night my friends and I got a group photo with the MAN and he could not have been more gracious. It truly pays to have respect for a man that owes us nothing but gives everthing he can during any given show. Perfect life? Maybe…….the talent to make millions doing what you do best and have people love you wherever you go……..it doesn’t get any better than that. Thanks Tom.
July 31st, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I have been going to Tom’s concerts for over 35 years (seeing him at least 100 times), but I have never had the chance to meeet him or run into him at a restaurant. I really would love to talk with him for a short time … just to tell him how much pleasure his music has given me over the years. His TV show helped me through the time my husband was in Viet Nam, and later his music got me through a divorce. I would just like to thank him. He is the best!
July 31st, 2008 at 7:48 pm
What gets me are the fans who meet Tom for a few minutes only, get a photo and autograph, and then act like they really know him, implying all sorts of intimacy when none exists. I see it on the tj.com forum and a few other web sites and after a show you can hear it wherever fans gather. A favorite place to talk is in the ladies room. Fans who have just been to the show size each other up like the sheriff and gunfighter in a western movie and ask careful questions: “Did you see him playing to me?” “Did you notice he winked at me?” “Have you met him? I have.” Then it starts, the contest between fans to see who knows him best.
This happened to me several years ago after I got the privilege of going backstage. These women just didn’t let up and it was embarrassing and in the end really annoying and as the wise moderators said above it was intrusive and made me uncomfortable.
Let’s face it, everyone who’s a true fan truly wants to “know” Tom, but a five- or 10- or 60-minute meeting does not a friendship make. It only makes a five- or 10- or 60-minute meeting. NOTHING ELSE!
Tom is nice to just about all his fans and it scares me to think that these fans are trying to make themselves more important or build their self-esteem through fantasies and lies. And they publicly involve Sir Tom in all of this. It’s just so sad. These incidents are certainly not major dustups like some of the ones above, but the small pathetic things pile up into one large sad feeling that so many fans need to pay more attention to their lives.
July 31st, 2008 at 7:50 pm
All these stories apart from the “wee wee story” -lol- show what a catfight is going on over TOM - how sick and sad to hit, push or verbally attack other fans
but it’s the reality!!! A friend of mine got hit into her chest so hard by another fan that she was brused for days. And in all stories here and the ones I have witnessed are only women involved - shame on you ladies!!!
July 31st, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I’ve only been a big big fan since 2000 but all my concert experiences have been a delight. The most outrageous moment that comes to mind was when an 80+ lady at my table who tried to climb onto the stage with Tom and almost made it. I’ve heard “he winked at me” or “did you see him throw me a kiss” but its been in jest. Tom has a way of making everyone one in the audience feel special. Anyone who makes serious statements “that he winked at me” is delusional!
Lighten up ladies…TJ belongs to the world.
July 31st, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Oh Paula, so sorry you took one in the eye! Plus, what a horrible “fan” that woman was! I’ve witnessed so many petty and disagreeable things that so-called fans have done over the years. Steffi, I really know what you mean! I try to avoid the bathroom after a show - my kidneys don’t approve, but it is best to hike back to my room to refresh.
How about this one - I drove to Lake Tahoe with a fan once (her car, with 2 other fans) and was asked to share a room and, of course, help pay for gas, etc. After two nights and four of Tom’s shows, she asked me how I planned on getting home! I was dumbfounded! She basically was going to let me get home on my own accord. I was told that only getting there was part of the deal. Even tho I was really young and apparently really stupid, I talked my way back into her car and she “graciously” dropped me off at the nearest public transportation! Live and learn!
August 1st, 2008 at 1:51 am
Just goes to show what some people will do to meet Tom. Although I do not have a story to tell, I know of a girl who saw Tom for the first time and cried all through the show. Imagine what she would have been like if she met him.
August 1st, 2008 at 7:12 am
Come on…is that a real story or a fan myth? Was “Our Fan” one of “our” Moderators?!?
The answer to the question asked in the “About the Film” section of the Truly Unusual Movie website “Do they posses they courage to withstand the intensity of his presence?” seems to be “NO” for many fans! That story could be a scene in the movie!
Thanks for infusing my day with a little Tom cayenne this morning!
August 1st, 2008 at 8:26 am
Marisa: No, Marisa, “Our Fan” was not one of your moderators. (And we are grateful for small things.) About 95 percent of fans are terrific. The other five percent? Well, you get the idea. One long-time fan told a moderator, “Watch out. These women will kill for a chance to get close to Tom. They will do anything.” She was right and she should surely know. She is described in one of the posts above.
August 1st, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Wow, this Las Vegas fan sounds like Kathy Bates in the movie Misery. I would hate for Tom’s car to stall in her neighborhood.
August 1st, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I would like to thank everyone for the fair warning about getting so close to Tom. I recently felt badly that I could not get to a show with a great seat but now I think it’s for the best. Appreciate it!
August 1st, 2008 at 3:22 pm
TJMoves: We have no idea why you said that and the only explanation is that you didn’t read the post. We clearly said that 95 percent of the fans are terrific and some are not. But if you choose not to go to a show based on a few stories from people who we know for a fact have been to scores — if not hundreds — of shows with only the one incident like this, then it’s your loss. Luckily, there are so many enthusiastic fans who will take your place.
And, Angelica, this woman is the exception. Most fans are just excited and enthusiastic to be at a show or to be near Tom. And their excitement is wondrous to see. Some who get to meet him actually weep with joy and are just awed (actually, most are in awe) and that’s just great. But, in the end, Our Fan’s story is kind of funny, isn’t it? Even she can laugh about it now. The stories Paula and Laura told are, in the scheme of things, somewhat rare exceptions. And if you think this is bad, someday we’ll tell tales about ushers and security people who believe their rent-a-cop uniforms give them the right to (literally) push people around.
August 1st, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Yes I am sure it is my loss or is it just common sense? I guess I am just not so in love with TJ that I would be willing to sustain a black eye or broken arm. I’m just funny that way!
August 1st, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Kind of funny and a bit scary. Hopefully i’ll never come across bully fans and bully ushers or security people. But if I do it would be worth it because Mr. MAGIC (Tom of course) would be in my presence. But your right overall he does have the best fans. I’ve only seen him 4 times and I’m always honored to be surrounded by people who’s enthusiasm is as great as mine.
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Marisa: To answer your question, no, I am not one of your Moderators. And, TJMoves: - I believe that it is sad that you would feel the way you do after reading these posts. The question was raised to get stories of unusual fan behavior. So, there have been a few instances where the fans go a little crazy and do things that are a little out of the norm and sometimes not pleasant. But, as the Moderators said, the majority of the fans are fabulous people who enjoy Tom and a really great show. And to add to my story — the lady that wet her pants as well as mine wasn’t a bad fan; just a little out of her mind for about 5 minutes and I actually felt sorry for her (eventually).
August 3rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Well thank you for the FABULOUS picture of that evening and Tom could certainly dedicate She’s a Lady to you!